I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
