My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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