I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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