I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
