real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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