Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
