i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
