the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
