Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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