She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
