im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
