well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
