happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize