Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
