please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I understand Curling. That high.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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