after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize