Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize