She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
