Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We are all done wearing pants today
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize