This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
