haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize