Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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