just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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