But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
