Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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