Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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