Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes