Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.

  (425): View more from Washington

  some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.

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  (360): did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends. (425): some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate. http://tfl.nu/ohwc
  Replies (19) Good night (918) Bad night (3644)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(

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  (303): I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :( http://tfl.nu/s6q5
  Replies (54) Good night (752) Bad night (17119)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?

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  (603): Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now? http://tfl.nu/rq4w
  Replies (17) Good night (2228) Bad night (3375)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand

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  (207): you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand http://tfl.nu/om9i
  Replies (8) Good night (4653) Bad night (1162)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.

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  (502): I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept. http://tfl.nu/hraq
  Replies (7) Good night (3389) Bad night (868)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

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  (316): I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8zh1
  Replies (41) Good night (5922) Bad night (1636)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.

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  (503): Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate. http://tfl.nu/7ogi
  Replies (13) Good night (2598) Bad night (871)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.

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  (814): The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge. http://tfl.nu/3qou
  Replies (6) Good night (3220) Bad night (751)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .

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  (203): Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes . http://tfl.nu/go9x
  Replies (10) Good night (1282) Bad night (706)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.

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  (229): Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night. http://tfl.nu/rfsw
  Replies (0) Good night (1275) Bad night (532)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong

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  (215): candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong http://tfl.nu/hvis
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (354)
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  (415): View more from California

  Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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  (415): Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/dkfp
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (240)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.

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  (+44): I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'. http://tfl.nu/incy
  Replies (2) Good night (478) Bad night (242)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay

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  (402): why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay http://tfl.nu/d49s
  Replies (2) Good night (232) Bad night (651)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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  (914): I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man. http://tfl.nu/8gmb
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (197)

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