ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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