I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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