the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
