Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
