dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just had sex bonerless
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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