Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Randomize
