problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
