It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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