I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
