I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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