she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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