she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
