no, he came in my armpit
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
