There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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