I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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