i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Found the puke drawer
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
