She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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