I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
