Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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