i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
