it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
