thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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