yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize