I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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