I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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