I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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