Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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