I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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