I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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