I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
